Showing posts with label temporary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label temporary. Show all posts

Sunday, June 6, 2021

Both Now and Forever



2 Corinthians 4:13-5:1

My daughter and I went camping last weekend.  It was beautiful and at night it was cold. I had not slept in a tent in a long time.  It kept out the wind, and the spiders that crawled over the outside of it but could not get in. It kept out the moisture and the dew. It did a little bit to block the cold, but not much. It did not keep out sound. I could hear the train across the lake when it passed by, and the slow crunch of the Park Ranger’s truck tires as she rolled by in the darkness every hour to check that all was well.  All through the night giant splashes erupted in the lake next to us that jolted me awake, and I had a front row seat for the cacophony of morning birds that started their music at 4 am.  And while the tent kept me from seeing the sunrise, it did not keep out the light. So I was up stumbling into the chilly morning fog not long after those birds.  A tent is not a home. It’s a temporary place to lie our head, not meant to keep us from the grace and beauty around us, or the gratitude within, but meant to make it so we can be more fully available to these things.  

Paul’s letters can get so wordy, theoretical and philosophical, so it’s easy to forget that they are written to real communities in real situations, and that Paul is also in his own drama most of the time. In this case, the small Corinthian congregation exists in a fast-paced, extremely stratified society, an environment filled with commerce and prosperity, homelessness and poverty, and clear demarcations between the haves and have-nots.  And the congregation itself includes people from the whole range of society, who know that these divisions have no place in the church – we are all one in the Body of Christ. But when some get off work early and show up to dinner and end up eating all the best food before those who have to work later can get there, the broken, sinful system creeps into the church.  When those with more means, (aka, nicer earthly tents), are given the better seat, or the louder voice, because they are used to it out there, we’re not functioning like the Body of Jesus Christ - those who lay down our lives for one another.  
We are so accustomed to maintaining, guarding and building up our earthly tents that we have trouble leaving them behind when we’re invited into the presence of God in the presence of one another.  And the Corinthians are learning that it takes a lot of faithful and consistent work to uncover their hidden biases, continue confessing their complicity in the brokenness, and practice living in freedom and mutual submission to one another as siblings in Christ. 
 
Add to that, at this point, there has been a rift between Paul and the Corinthian congregation, and Paul is trying to mend a divide. So in this part of his letter he is building up to say we need to be reconciled because we are in Christ, we have died with him and been raised to a new life of complete belonging to God and each other, we already are reconciled, for eternity, so let’s live that reconciliation now.
 
But first he has to remind them of what’s true.
 
A tent is not our true home. It is a cover, a place to rest and keep out of the rain. It can offer some protection, some structure. But it is not permanent.  A good storm can rip the stakes out of the ground in minutes. A curious bear can tear through the wall or a determined raccoon gingerly unzip it with its outrageous opposable thumbs.  A tent in the elements day after day would wear out and become useless.  It’s not made to last forever, and it doesn’t actually protect us all that well from danger.
 
The problem is, we act like our earthly tents, our temporary shelters, are meant to last. We forget that our outer natures are wasting away, as Paul says. Or maybe we don’t want to acknowledge it. We direct our effort into building up the things that can be seen. And there is nothing wrong with pouring energy into our jobs, making our houses comfortable, or cultivating our hobbies and our education.  It’s not bad to invest our money to prepare for the future or take good care of our health. All these things are good things; they make life more enjoyable and more stable.  But, the mystics remind us, we can get overly attached to even good things. And, as C.S. Lewis reminds us, “100% of people die and that number cannot be increased.”  So these things don’t actually save us from death either.
 
But that’s only half of Paul’s sentence. Our outer nature is wasting away, yes, but our inner nature is being renewed day by day.  He redirects our gaze from the temporary to the eternal, from what can be seen to what cannot be seen, and then he puts it all in context, “this slight, momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory without measure.” 
Glory is the energy of God’s nearness, the smudge of proximity to divinity, the residue of the mystery of transcendence that leaks into everything otherwise ordinary in this life. 

There is a quote that I have heard attributed to Amy Tan that says, “a soul can only hold as much joy as sorrow carves room for.”  When we let life in, we can let more life in. Because we have a savior who redeems our very humanity, we can let weakness make us stronger and vulnerability make us braver and loss make love more deeply. Our tents are meant to be permeable. They are meant to keep us accessible to the glory of God whose fingerprints are all over creation and whose presence dwells within our neighbor.
 
A life of faith, a life shaped by grace, is a life that points us not into ourselves, to build up and guard and protect, but out toward one another.  Always.  In our Apostles Creed catechesis this week we talked about how ours is a faith that follows a God who came into weakness as a human being and laid down his life for others, and this rocked the very foundations of all thinking from Jesus onward; for the first time in human history humility became a virtue instead of a shame. Instead of guarding honor, building up dignity, upholding strength and might, taking care of one’s own, here was a humiliated and killed savior, who surrendered to weakness and bore the suffering of others.  

And in exchange for our suffering, Jesus gives us his glory, right here in our humiliating humanity, he draws us into the deep and unbreakable connection with God that Jesus himself has, and makes our very humanity, our weakness, the place where God is revealed.  The faith of Jesus becomes our faith. The life of Jesus becomes our life.  

God’s grace spills over on us and feels inside like gratitude, increasing and spreading, spilling more grace and bubbling up more gratitude, life after life. The grace of God turns people away from our project of self-protective tent-building out toward this wonder-filled world and the magnificence of other humans, to see the glory of God in the very face of one another. 
 
In a wonderful essay called, The Weight of Glory, C.S. Lewis brings this home:
It is…with awe and circumspection … that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. 
There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations - these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit - immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.…Next to the Blessed sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses.

Our true home is in the presence of God in the presence of each other – a deep dwelling of belonging in this momentary life and forever. So we do not lose heart. For this reason, we do not lose heart!  Things fall apart. Yes. Civilizations crumble, institutions end, we must come to terms with the fact that our very own bodies gradually disintegrate around us. But we are not afraid to acknowledge this—in fact, we cannot be free until we do so! Because our earthly tents provide a temporary place to lie our heads, and weather storms, and take in the world’s beauty, music and light. 

But the Holy Spirit makes a spacious and welcoming dwelling within us and between us that cannot be seen, but will last forever. It is secure, indestructible and unending. Right here – faintly all around us and blazing within and between us, shines the glory of God. On this side of eternity we can only bear but a faint brush against, handle the tiniest glimpse, or tolerate the smallest teaspoonful of God’s glory before it overwhelms our senses, but we are even now, being prepared to one day hold the full weight of it. And we experience it paradoxically through weakness and suffering shared, through confession and forgiveness, through mutual submission and lifting each other up. In our true home of God’s grace we are seen and we see each other as none other than bearers of the very glory of God in Christ, guests together at the table of this glorious feast of a life, sharing glimpses of what is to come.  

Amen.

Thursday, May 21, 2020

Relearning Lessons

Daily Devotion - May 21

I will send a brief message each day (except Mondays)
while we are pausing gathering in person.
- Kara


I like to learn things one time and know them forever.  I'd prefer to prevent all future mistakes, and also never repeat lessons. Once and done!
Unfortunately that's not how life works.
When I have to relearn something, I feel annoyed and impatient with myself.  But this strange time is requiring that I continue to relearn things.  I am working on receiving the lessons and letting them teach me again.

This past week or so there have been two:

The first is radical acceptance. I had already had a kind of awakening that I was living in resistance to all of this, as though embracing this life was saying, "I'm ok with it." Like I don't care that things are not how I want them to be.  "I'm good with losing all the plans I was looking forward to and the patterns of life I love."  I'm not good with that.  But I made a conscious choice try to embrace and accept this life, to settle my soul into it, because I really want to live fully present. So we started doing "Family Fun Night" twice a week - and they've been really fun. We've had a lip sync contest, casino game night, family bike ride, mancala tournament and more.  That's all well and good. But, in addition to all the sickness, and worry, and loss of lives and jobs, this week they announced that the 4th of July parade was canceled, and it sent me over the edge.  I still can't visit my grandmother, I hate avoiding people on the sidewalk, and my daughter's birthday is coming up and we are still in this damn thing.  So I found myself a mess of pent-up emotions all over again: anger, sadness, frustration. And I realized I had returned to resistance.  So here we go again - grieving, letting go,choosing to be here, now.

Another lesson I'm relearning is a longer-term one. I am a multi-tasker from way back. It's in my genes.  It was often proudly proclaimed that my grandfather "could fit 10 pounds in a 5 pound box!" I have been the same way for much of my life. But the past decade and a half has been a long, slow untraining of myself, (aided by an autoimmune disorder and a deep study of sabbath).  In this time, I have learned (or so I thought) how to put 5 pounds in a 5 pound box. Even, sometimes, I am able to stop at 4 1/2 pounds, and leave a little wiggle room.
I've taught about sabbath, and written about it, and tried to raise my children understanding the value of it. But in times of stress, we return to our deep dysfunction and act from our unthought patterns/ addictions/ methods of self-soothing.  It turns out - even though I've put some great boundaries in place during this time of lockdown (like not working past 4 pm, six days a week, taking Mondays completely off...) and made sure I have good support (like spiritual direction and my pastor group) - I've fallen back into some of my old patterns.

When we feel helpless, it feels good to be busy. We sometimes mistake busyness for fullness.  When there are no demarcations between 'home' and 'work', and even our days are running together - we do things that make us feel productive and useful.  At least, I do. And that's all fine. But I stopped retreating.
For nearly a decade, I have taken a 24 hour retreat once a month, turning off my phone and getting away. Every month. I need to be alone. I need silence, distance, nature and my journal on a regularly-scheduled basis.  That hasn't happened since February.
It happened last week. I got away to a cabin in the woods, and I surprised myself by crying for much of the time. I needed a shut-down and reboot moment.
I have learned what practices feed me in ordinary life. Retreat is one of them, and I need to reclaim these practices and return to them.  Instead, I have been treating this like it's an extraordinary time where the rules don't apply. They still apply.

We still need rest. We still need to do the things that feed us. I still can be careful and deliberate about putting 5 pounds (or 4 1/2) into a 5 pound box, and not say, "Because right now things are different, it's ok to jam more in."  It's not ok. When so much else is out of the ordinary, and the practices we take for granted (like shaking hands, hugging, going to movies, church services and shopping centers, getting together with friends, etc.) are not happening, the rules still apply.

We all jumped into crisis mode when this thing hit.  We treated the situation like it was temporary. It is temporary. But it's not short-term.  And there is no going back, only forward.

As we go forward, we will be relearning lessons again and again, like feeling our feelings, living in the present, recognizing what we can and can't control,  remembering our belonging to God and each other, having mercy for ourselves and each other, receiving the joy, and the need to rest.

So I am giving myself short-hand phrases to remember the lessons I keep relearning. I might even hang them on my fridge. Today's are "Radical Acceptance, and "The Rules Still Apply."

What lessons have you been relearning in this time?


CONNECTING RITUAL:


Perhaps tonight before bed, whatever time that is in each of our homes, we and so join our souls with each other and the people of the whole earth:

Let's end the day with the Evening Prayer again, from the New Zealand Prayerbook.

Lord it is night.
The night is for stillness.
Let us be still in the presence of God.

It is night after a long day.
What has been done has been done;
what has not been done has not been done.
Let it be.

The night is dark.
Let our fears of the darkness
of the world and of our own lives
rest in you.

The night is quiet.
Let the quietness of your peace enfold us,
all dear to us, and all who have no peace.

The night heralds the dawn.
Let us look expectantly to a new day,
new joys, new possibilities.
In your name we pray.
Amen.

Thursday, April 23, 2020

The New Normal

Daily Devotion - April 23

I will send a brief message each day
while we are pausing gathering in person.
- Kara




(Keep Calm and Carry On was a motivational poster the British government produced in1939.  As WWII loomed, the poster was designed to boost the morale of, and give guidance to, the British public, through the "new normal," which included widely predicted mass air strikes on major cities. It debuted in 2009 on the wall of the dining room of the Root household to help me parent through a particularly rough season of dinner/vegetable battles with my strong-willed toddler. In April 2020, I began regularly consuming coffee from my mug with the "Keep Calm..." logo to help me through Quarantine).

How are you doing today?

For me, it is dawning (again!?!) that this will change us for a long time.  There is no snap of the finger back to normal. Our governor just canceled in-person school for the rest of the school year, and I'm watching colleges talk about fall semesters online. Andy and I were on a zoom call yesterday for an event we were going to lead together in October (OCTOBER).  The whole, everyone at a retreat center in one place idea is out.  Now, if it is safe to gather, it will likely be in small groups, so maybe smaller concurrent gatherings with Andy and myself rotating between them and the rest seeing it through a live feed? Or something nobody has even thought of yet...? 
October.


When "normal" does "resume" it will be in fits and starts, a little here, and little there, slowly, gradually, 10 people at a time, maybe 50 now, oops, back to 10, etc.  

What does Church look like then?

(What does then look like then??)

I've met with some other pastors (via zoom, of course!) this week, and here's what I heard about what Church is looking like for others: Groups of people praying together by phone, online weekly bible studies, an online VBS in the works, pre-recorded bible study video snippets, coffee hours - like ours, where people are checking in with each other, weekly confirmation class zoom gatherings, online organ concerts.  We are preparing for our first online memorial service.  One church I know of found a lovely way to invite people to come by and leave cards at the home of someone who has lost a family member. Some tiny congregations of under fifty are seeing thousands "joining in" their livestream, some large congregations accustomed to high attendance have much lower "viewership" of their services. Some congregations have never really had "small group" ministries, so are figuring out how to pivot their whole model and help folks get connected in completely different ways.  I think what we are all realizing is:
This is not temporary and then we'll go back to normal. 
This is the new normal until there is another new normal.  


That is a mindset shift for me, and I imagine, for you as well. So the question of how to live in the now continues to be a biggie - for ourselves and our households, but also for our congregations.  

How are we being Church well right now?  
How might we need to keep adapting - we did from "normal" to "temporary," now we're going from "temporary" to "new normal" - to meet some new needs that have arisen, or address some needs that have been put on hold?  
How are each of us coping?  
How can we help each other remember our primary belonging to God and each other in the midst of this?  


The new normal for our church session (board - used to meet monthly) is to meet for an hour every week.  And we'll be circling back with our hospitality teams in the next few days as well, to check in on how each person is doing.  In following the sound guidance from our state health officials and our governor, and looking at the trajectory for COVID-19 in MN in the coming weeks, session voted this week to continue meeting online and by phone through May.  

So, the six weeks we've had so far will be joined by a minimum of five more.  
What can we do to help each other find joy, connection and grounding during this? 
How can we keep seeking the presence of God in our lives and in the world during this phase of new normal?

I came across this quote today, and found it quite lovely.

"We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanence, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern. The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping even.  Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what it was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now." 

                - Ann Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea


So, (while I think there are gift in looking back and also looking forward), I feel compelled by the invitation this quote raises to trust in life's ebb and flow. This is to say, for me, to trust also in the Holy Spirit's constant interference, comfort and guidance, and to see God's presence, which is always in the here and now, by living in the present and accepting it as it is now.  


This feels like a huge challenge, and I find myself reacting to it with lots of internal resistance, but also with some curiosity and longing. A small part of me even wants to scream out "Yes!"  And I know this to be true also because I've been genuinely blessed, and not a little intrigued, in hearing some people' stories of these days include words like "contentment", "joy", "peace", "surprising ease", "gift" and "treasure."  I believe those things are given to us in any and all circumstances, and right now we have the opportunity to discover them in new places, and ways we've not yet learned to look. 


So, here's to the new normal. Here's to living in the present and accepting it as it is now.  

I'll see you here.

CONNECTING RITUAL:

Perhaps, sometime today, whatever time that is in each of our homes, we might extend a blessing in this way, and so join our hearts:

When you pray this prayer - keep the "us" and the "we" - pray it for yourself, but also for your congregation, or family, or community. (And then, you could pray it again for your nation, and again for our world).

May the strength of God pilot us.

May the power of God preserve us.

May the wisdom of God instruct us.

May the hand of God protect us.

May the way of God direct us.

May the shield of God defend us.

May the host of God guard us against the snares of evil

and the temptations of the world.

May Christ be with us,

Christ before us,

Christ in us,

Christ over us.

May your salvation, O Lord,
Be always ours this day and forevermore. Amen.


- Patrick of Ireland (389-461)

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