Welcoming ourselves

Daily Devotion - March 20

I will try to send a brief message to my congregation each day while we are pausing gathering in person.
- Kara

 I have been repeating my sister's words to myself all day today:

"We have grace for what is actually happening. Never for what might be."

I felt that grace today.  

I realized in some ways, I have been blocking myself from receiving that grace. I have been using productivity as armor - if I keep busy I don't have to feel my disappointment, my fear, my anxiety, my cabin fever.  

If I keep busy I don't have to feel the discomfort of being.  

Today I unclenched a little bit. I tried to let the feelings come in a little more. And I tried to slow down and practice the gentleness I encouraged you all to give yourselves yesterday.

What if we gently welcomed the upheaval of emotions? 
This is an unprecedented situation. Feelings will come without warning, and they will likely surprise you. 

Here are some I've heard:

"It sounds terrible but I'm glad my mom died last year and isn't here for this."

"My family sucks.  I'm lonely and they wont hang out with me."

"I've been alone all day but I'm in the house with everyone else and I desperately need space."

"I had to run an errand and found myself wanting to drive around aimlessly and not go back home."

"I'm terrified imagining who I love will be sick and maybe die."

"I'm furious that mother in law in the hospital (for an aneurism) can't have anyone visit her and she's scared."  

Feelings are indicators of needs that are being met or unmet. They are not dangerous or threatening. They're just signals. We can listen to our feelings for what they have to tell us. We can welcome them.

I love Rumi's poem, The Guest House.

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.

meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

When the feelings come, how about practicing some self-empathy? 

My friend Jamie taught me a short-cut to self-empathy.

It goes like this: Place your hand on your own cheek and gently say, "Oh honey..."  This works for me.  I immediately feel a tenderness open up, a willingness to receive myself with care.

Or, do as she does: place your hand on your heart, and pat your chest softly, and say, "There, there..."

Treat yourself as a precious human being.  Treat yourself with the kindness you would a child, a friend, another precious human being.   May we welcome ourselves as God welcomes us.

And then, may we let God welcome us too.  
There is nothing we bear that God doesn't see and carry with us.  We can name all the feelings we have to God.  Because unless we can say what is actually happening, we can't receive the grace that God has for us right here in the real.  Grace doesn't run out, and it can't be saved up. God gives us all the we need, only when we need it.  

Let your heart speak these words:

PSALM 139:1-12

O Lord, you have searched me and known me. 

You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

   you discern my thoughts from far away. 

You search out my path and my lying down,

   and are acquainted with all my ways. 

Even before a word is on my tongue,

   O Lord, you know it completely. 

You hem me in, behind and before,

   and lay your hand upon me. 

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

   it is so high that I cannot attain it. 

Where can I go from your spirit?

   Or where can I flee from your presence? 

If I ascend to heaven, you are there;

   if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there. 

If I take the wings of the morning

   and settle at the farthest limits of the sea, 

even there your hand shall lead me,

   and your right hand shall hold me fast. 

If I say, ‘Surely the darkness shall cover me,

   and the light around me become night’, 

even the darkness is not dark to you;

   the night is as bright as the day,

   for darkness is as light to you.

May we rest ourselves in God's limitless care.

CONNECTING RITUAL:

Perhaps in the morning, when we wake up tomorrow, 

whatever time that is in each of our homes, 

we might all say this prayer, and so join our souls:

The Prayer of St. Patrick

I arise today

Through the strength of heaven;

Light of the sun,

Splendor of fire,

Speed of lightning,

Swiftness of the wind,

Depth of the sea,

Stability of the earth,

Firmness of the rock.

I arise today

Through God's strength to pilot me;

God's might to uphold me,

God's wisdom to guide me,

God's eye to look before me,

God's ear to hear me,

God's word to speak for me,

God's hand to guard me,

God's way to lie before me,

God's shield to protect me,

God's hosts to save me

Afar and anear,

Alone or in a mulitude.

Christ shield me today

Against wounding

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,

Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,

Christ on my right, Christ on my left,

Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down,

Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,

Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,

Christ in the eye that sees me,

Christ in the ear that hears me.

I arise today

Through the mighty strength

Of the Lord of creation.