It’s 8:23 am, and already this morning I’ve encountered the following:
- The Twitter clip of the CDC representative making an announcement about not touching your eyes, nose and mouth, then licking her thumb to turn the page of her notes, shared under the heading, “We’re Doomed.”
- Seattle’s announcement that it is closing schools for a minimum of 14 days.
- My daughter telling me they’ve stopped their ritual of shaking hands with everyone at the end of their school day and are now doing elbow bumps.
- The BBC announcing that in France they are warning people not to kiss.
My husband came home from a trip yesterday, and told me that on the airplane, he heard a woman a few rows back ask to be moved because the person sitting next to her had sneezed. From that point on, any time someone sneezed or coughed, rows of people snapped their heads toward the offending party in dismay.
Amazon is out of Purell, Target is out of bleach and rubbing alcohol, Walmart is low on canned goods. And even though they are meant to protect other people from your own germs, there are no face masks to be found, and the Surgeon General tweeted Saturday, "Seriously people — STOP BUYING MASKS!”
An article in the Washington Post this morning titled, “Coronavirus Anxiety is everywhere and there is no cure to be found.” described the paranoia sweeping the nation: someone wiping down their laptop every time they bring it into a different room at the office, and cleaning their elbows after having them on the conference room table. Someone else at the gym meticulously sanitizing a treadmill, but then abandoning their workout and fleeing the building when they discovered a piece of chewed-up gum in the cupholder. People questioning, If hand sanitizer is 99.99% effective, what about that other .01 percent?!? According to this article, People have stopped breathing. If someone sneezes or coughs near them on the train or on the street, they hold their breath and get away as fast as possible before breathing again. “Symptom of coronavirus: shortness of breath.” the article says, “Symptom of coronavirus anxiety: holding of breath.”
We were already a country holding our breath. Pick your poison: politics, climate, stock market, mass shootings. There’s plenty out there to be scared of. In here too. We’re scared we’re not good enough parents, or good enough students, or good enough. We are afraid to say the wrong thing, or use the wrong words or we might be called our or condemned. We’re afraid to bring up things we disagree about with people we care about. We’re afraid about the future, afraid about the risks, afraid what might happen if _________(it takes us nothing to fill in the blank with any number of things).
As a nation, we are already sick with Fear. We’re plagued by symptoms like insomnia, depression, a tendency toward isolation, anger and irritability, the instinct to hoard, wariness and distrust of others. And unlike a vaccine, being infected with a small amount of this pathogen doesn’t make us immune; it makes us more susceptible to the full-blown illness. Our pre-existing condition makes us a high-risk population for Coronavirus Anxiety.
The Way of Fear says there is not enough - not enough resources, not enough respect, not enough voice, not enough health, not enough humanity - to go around. For some to have the right amount means others don't get enough, by default or by intention. We feed on this idea of scarcity and competition, distrust and suspicion. We live in judgment and self-protection. And because the threat of loss is everywhere, we practice constant urgency and tireless vigilance. Except we’re all tired.
Our collective immune system is weakened.
The antidote to Fear is the truth: We all belong to God and we all belong to each other.
As human beings, this is already true, no matter what. In contrast to The Way of Fear, The Way of God, (or what Jesus called, The Kingdom of God), says we are in this together, alongside one another, given to each other as a gift. We are not in competition with one another- there's enough love, dignity, respect, (even stuff) for us all. We are meant to share. We are meant to be vulnerable and connected - affirming each other’s humanity affirms our own; upholding each other’s dignity and worth upholds our own. We are here to care for one another. That's what keeps us human. Our humanity rests in our belonging to God and each other. We share each other’s suffering, bear each other’s joy, and we find our true selves – which is our connection to God and each other –right there. Life is a gift, meant to be enjoyed alongside each other.
So when I read today that people have stopped breathing, it took my breath away. Already isolated and suspicious, we’re no longer going to touch one another. No hugging. No kissing. (Although on the news last night an Italian man responded to this edict, "No. We are Sicilian. We will show affection to the end.") No shaking hands. Stop touching our own faces, and it should go without saying, don't touch each other's. Stop sharing popcorn, or any food for that matter. We are going to stop gathering in groups, stop attending events, stop taking vacations. We are suspending some of the very things that most remind us of our shared humanity. We are going to refrain from doing the things that help us remember we belong to each other.
It’s not the advice they are giving that is the problem. We may need to refrain from doing all these things for a time. We should be careful. But we’re careful because we belong to each other. We’re careful because we’re thinking about the most vulnerable among us, and how to protect them. We’re careful because we are all in this together, and we need each other, and combating the spread of COVID-19 will be something that takes all of us, in cooperation, doing it together. We should listen to the experts for the good of us all.
But since we are already infected with Fear, the message is being warped to our ears. They say “No kissing, because you will pass your germs to the other person.” But fear translates that message into, “No kissing because I could catch something from the other person.” They say, “Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze so you don’t spread your germs to others.” Fear translates it, “Suspect anyone who coughs or sneezes of having the virus, and isolate them.” They say, “Be prepared with some supplies at home, so if you get sick you don’t have to go out and possibly infect others.” We hear, “Stockpile food, and masks, and hand sanitizer, because if you don't there wont be enough for you, and so you can barricade yourself safely away from the dangerous others.”
There is a treatment for Fear, which, since it’s the same pathogen, is also is good medicine for Coronavirus Anxiety. The prescription is this: Practice belonging. Practice your fundamental belonging to God and to each other. Belonging is the breath of our being; it's our soul's heartbeat.
So, take a time-out from your routine and do something that reminds you who you are and whose you are – go for a walk outdoors, have someone you love over for dinner, call up your far-away friend. Look through a photo album from a favorite trip or holiday, with someone else.
Turn off the screens for a day, or an evening, and be with your thoughts or your family. Set a timer for ten minutes and list all the things you are grateful for. Maybe do this every day, or whenever Fear starts rising up.
Do something kind for someone else. Cheer on a kid’s basketball game; attend their recital. (Or if those stop for a time, FaceTime them and have them play a you a song). Send a birthday card. Or a thank you card. Or an "I'm grateful for you" card. Remember your own humanity by celebrating others.
Fear is a story we tell ourselves. Belonging is reality. Stand by the person who others are pulling away from. Speak up if someone is being treated as an illness and not a person. Hug anyway, then wash your hands afterwards, if you'd like. Or don't hug, but make a greater effort at eye contact, at listening, at pausing for the conversation you might otherwise rush past. Ask yourself, What can I do today to remind myself and others, that we all belong to God and each other?
Coronavirus Anxiety is far more contagious than the coronavirus itself. For most people who catch it, the virus is mild, and its effects are short-lived; that's not the case with the Fear.
This is a time of anxiety. Anxiety is a normal part of life. We can acknowledge it when it arises and let it pass through us. Feel it and breathe through it. (Even saying aloud to ourselves, "This is a time of anxiety. Anxiety is a normal part of life" can help). Anxiety cannot kill us; it cannot steal our life.
But Fear of anxiety can - resistance to it, attempts to buffer ourselves from it, those can paralyze us. Fear can cut us off from all that keeps us human. Fear can steal our joy, our purpose, and our future. It does this by lying to us. It tells us we are in this alone, so we'd better look out for ourselves. But we are not alone. We belong to God and each other, no matter what.
We have a choice. We can let this coronavirus isolate us further, or we can let it bring us together. I suggest we recognize it as an opportunity to remember and practice our belonging. Let’s hold onto what makes us human. Keep breathing.
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