Showing posts with label stations of the cross. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stations of the cross. Show all posts

Sunday, March 27, 2011

In Impossibility...



Throughout Lent, at LNPC we are exploring the Biblical Stations of the Cross.  We have the stations up in our sanctuary, and the congregation is doing a Lenten Worship Project, bringing in images that we find in media, our lives, art, etc. and helping to construct one of the stations during worship each week.  This week, we explored Jesus' Promise of Paradise to the Crucified Thief: Station 11.


Station 11: Jesus Promises Paradise to the Crucified Thief
Lenten Worship Project Words: hopelessness, despair, impossibility


(Each person selected a rock from a basket when they came into worship).

I invite you to hold this rock through the reflection time. Feel the weight of it in your hand.  Let it sit in your palm as you listen.

We’re walking an unusual journey this Lent- we are spending the whole five weeks of Lent in Jesus’ last week of life. His last conversations, last connections with people, last words and encounters, his fears and his choices that week, we are immersing ourselves in that experience.

We’ve seen Jesus’ presence in our places of pleading and sorrow, we’ve seen him there in our places of shame and regret, and today, we meet him in our places of impossibility. Where there is nothing we can do, no way forward, those places we’ve given up as lost.  And to do this, we are focusing on Jesus’ conversation on the cross.

In addition to the outer dialogue happening, I imagine the inner monologues that day on the cross.  The crowds below, yelling, jeering, and way up on the cross, the three men. Sharing this moment, their last earthly moment.  The end.
The first one looks over at Jesus, at the other thief, at the crowds around them and his thoughts go something like this…

This is a nightmare.
Suspended here in front of everyone, the heat and the flies and the gasping, persistent pain. The end. This is how it ends?  How could this have happened? 
I was great.  Smart, resourceful; no common criminal, a master thief.  Is this even real?
Look at that fool. King of the Jews. Look at those crowds gathered around us, mocking him. And they should be. He’s pathetic. 
I’m not supposed to be here.  This is not how I am supposed to end.  Don’t look at me.
At least I am not pathetic. I’ll never be pathetic. I may be dying, but I am not a spectacle.  
He doesn’t even answer!
He just hangs there.  King of the Jews, HA!  Some savior; hanging there and taking this abuse. 
I would never take it. I would tear down from here and smash them for what they say.  I would grab the two on either side of me and we would climb down and leave in a royal chariot, kicking dust on them and their empty crosses. 
Some king.  At least I am not that poor loser.  At least I have some dignity. 
 “Are you not the Messiah?  Save yourself and us!”

The second thief gasps.
 How could he say that?  Doesn’t he get it?  The rule of justice has him hanging here, and yet he still would mock that man?  Has he no fear of God?
 Even now, he has no awareness that his life is over; his deeds have caught up with him and he is paying the penalty he deserves for what he has done. 

But that man, he has done nothing! He hangs here innocent.  No justice holds him to that cross.  He should not be here!
They mock him. And that shame will be on their own heads when they answer before God. But him, how could he say that?

“Do you not fear God? You and I hang here under the very same sentence that he does.  But we have been condemned justly!  We are getting what we deserve!  This man is not like us.  He has done nothing wrong!”

I have nothing to say to my charges. I am guilty. I am dying a just death. I have earned my place in hell.  It is over for me. There is no more.
Nobody will mourn me. Nobody will hold my place, speak fondly of me, commemorate the day of my death.  When this day is over, it is as though I had never been.  I am nothing. 

But he, he will surely live on.  He will surely be with God.  This innocent one, dying here alongside me.  If there is any justice at all, God will surely take him. He shared this end with me, he saw me bleed and heard me struggle for my last breaths.  If he would remember me, wherever he goes from here, that would be enough. 
“Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

And Jesus looks at the man. 
And if he could have put his hand on him he would have, but instead, he holds his gaze and the noise of the crowd seems to fade to the background for a moment and it seems it is just the two dying men, in a room alone that nobody else can reach; Jesus says to him, “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.”

And into that place of finality and loss, the place of utter hopelessness, Jesus pronounces these strange words of promise – today you will be with me in paradise.

How much more out of place can these words be? Today you will be with me in paradise?  These are words of safety, joy, abundance, these are words of vacationing and now and relaxing and celebrating. What in the world is going on up there while the rest of the crowd sees only death and defeat? What is happening in this moment, between these three men, while the onlookers see only someone’s end? The story is wrapping up, folks. Jesus’ story. The thief’s story. Their run at it is complete. The story of the Christ, the King of the Jews, this Jesus-preacher was over.  Everyone could see it, even the thieves knew it.  Life ends in death.  Period.

But this story, for as much as we have considered it to be for all the times we’ve heard it, was never about the two thieves, the good thief and the bad thief, the unbelief of the one and the faith of the other.  This was always about our God. Our Christ, alongside them, alongside us, sharing the same fate but not the same view. Where they saw death, he saw new life.

One thief looks at him with our questions.  
If you are God, then save us! Take away the suffering, end evil. Why don’t you, God?  But it’s a bigger question than that the thief asks, he isn’t asking to be spared, really. He’s not crying to the heavens and asking God to save him or to end suffering in the world.  He is saying what is even harder for us to grapple with, and that is this:
If you really are the God of all, the savior of the world, then come down off that cross- because good gods don’t die.  What would you be doing in those places of suffering? Why wouldn’t you avoid the pain and torment of the rest of us? 
We like to see our gods in glory, we like our kings to have some authority and wield some power… What kind of savior would just let themselves suffer too, with us, for us?
 It makes no sense whatsoever. 
If you are really God, get down off that cross. Save yourself.  And us too, while you’re at it.  It’s impossible to accept a dying god.

The other thief looks at him with our resignation.  
We’ve gotten what’s coming to us and this is our just end. So when you get out of this mess, this mess we’ve made and perpetuated, this mess we’ve suffered and inflicted upon each other, when you do save yourself, when you do get back to wherever you really live, God, your holy place, your set apart place, that place where we humans can’t go and screw everything up like we’ve done here, when you finally give up on us and return to your kingdom, when this world has done its worst and is eventually given over to the defeat that awaits us, then please, remember us. 
Just remember us.  
When you leave and we are left to what we deserve, please at least hold our memory.

But Jesus’s answer is earth-shattering, course-correcting, cosmos-altering. Today – YOU will be WITH ME in paradise. I don’t go away and leave you all to yourselves. And I don’t get down off this cross and spare myself your suffering. I endure and hang in there with you so far and so long that I take you all with me, that I move all of it forward from death to life, I bend the whole thing back to God again and there is no way, in life or death or anything present or yet to come, that I will ever leave you or forsake you.

We come up against impossibility every day. If not in our own lives, just turn on the news for three minutes.  People dying because they can’t have clean water. Terrible impossibility.  Thirty people, death warrant signed, standing between their country and nuclear disaster. Hopeless.  That relationship that cannot, no matter how hard you try, ever be truthful, caring, respectful, mutual.  Impossible. 
We live in a world where the struggle never seems to end, where people fight and die seemingly for nothing as corrupt governments hang on and squash the people’s voices and lives, where people are still searching for the missing and the rebuilding can’t even begin the destruction is so massive, where no matter how many applications or interviews or prayers there is just no job, and where the chemo drains away strength and the tumor holds strong – we know impossibility. 
We don’t have to be hanging on a cross breathing our last to recognize hopelessness.

But as certain as you are that you have defined yourself irreversibly, that our trajectory has been cemented, or that the world is going to hell in a handbasket, our story today says two things:
One, Jesus is right here. With us, alongside, right in the middle of it. All of it.  
And two, this is not the final word; this is not even remotely the end.  The whole thing goes in a direction that we could never begin to imagine, beyond anything we could conceive of hoping for or would dare to ask. 

You’ve been holding this rock the whole time.  It is warm with the heat of your body. It has begun to feel natural to hold it, the weight has become, if not comfortable, then familiar.  We carry the weight of our impossibilities. We carry the weight of the world’s hopelessness. Every day we do. Those things that have no promise of ever getting better. Those things we’ve given up on. They are with us.

Now imagine your body and your mind, your heart welling up these things, they don’t have to have words you can articulate, just feelings or impressions, sadnesses or impossibilities, imagine them coming out of your thoughts and feelings and muscles and memories and flowing down your arm into this rock. All the places you’ve given up on, in yourself, in the world, all the questions and the anger and the fears, and the deadness where no life has been in a long time. All the things you wish you could share with God but you can’t.
 Imagine them in the weight of this rock. Squeeze the rock as hard as you can. Now relax your hand and hold it gently. Imagine it as a prayer. Your prayer. Your prayer without words, but with weight. You can feel it and it feels heavy, it presses on you.  As our prayer today, we are going to lay it down.  I will invite you come forward when you are ready and lay your rock at the foot of the cross.  Come lay your burden down. Come and find the place where hopelessness meets the suffering savior.

Prayer
Jesus Christ, we can’t imagine that you would share our place, really. That you would suffer here with us and be found in our times of guilt or pain, the most painful suffering and awful darkness in the world.  Forgive us when we demand you come down off the cross and show yourself in distant power. 
In the places of impossibility and hopelessness, help us to recognize your face and know that we are not alone.

Lord God of justice, we can’t imagine that you wouldn’t leave us to clean up our own messes. That you wouldn’t give us what we deserve. Help us to see that this world is your own, that no matter how we distort and pollute and destroy this planet or the people around us, our very own lives, your love embraces us and brings us back to God.  And you promise to restore and heal and renew.
In the places of impossibility and hopelessness, help us to recognize your voice and know that this is not the end.

We bring to you tonight the impossibility we carry, the hopelessness we wear next to our very skin.  And we lay it down at the cross. Give us courage to release the weight we carry.  And tonight we hold up these images that represent the world’s impossibility and hopelessness, and we put them into the story of your cross, the truth of your death and resurrection.  Give us the courage to keep seeing, and not forsaking, those places and situations in the world and in our lives, and holding them up to you.  Amen.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

What the Garden really sounds like

Throughout Lent, at LNPC we are exploring the Biblical Stations of the Cross.  We have the stations up in our sanctuary, and the congregation is doing a Lenten Worship Project, bringing in images that we find in media, our lives, art, etc. and helping to construct one of the stations during worship each week.  This week, we began with Jesus Praying in the Garden, Station 1.

Praying at Gethsemane, by He Qi



Station 1: Jesus Praying in the Garden
Lenten Collage Words: Prayer, Pleading, Sorrow.





In the Garden - a reading in four parts

John:             After the strange dinner, where Jesus washed our feet, and Judas got up and left in the middle, we walked together up to the garden on the Mount of Olives as we had done so often before.  But this time Jesus was distressed and agitated, and the usually pleasant ritual was colored with a heavy sense of foreboding. 
When we arrived at our favorite spot we all began to find a comfortable place to sit under the stars and someone started building a fire.  It was a mild night, with the soft breeze rustling the olive trees, and the nervous small talk started up in the group while we waited for Jesus to sit down.

Peter:             But Jesus didn’t sit.  Instead he pulled aside me, James and John, and left everyone else gathered around the fire that was just starting up.

Jesus:            Stay here, you guys, while I go over there and pray.

Peter:            When we had gotten a little distance away from the others, he grabbed us by the arms, clinging to us.  His voice was strained, and there was anguish in his eyes.

Jesus:             This sorrow is crushing my life out! Please, Stay here and keep vigil with me.  I cannot do this alone. I need you to be with me.

James:            He walked a few paces away from us, and then he fell down on his face draped over a rock, and began to pray fervently.  We stood there for a minute in silence, then looked for a comfortable spot to sit down and wait.

Jesus:             My Father, please, if there is any way, get me out of this! Oh God! But, not what I want. I’ll do what you want. I will. But please, is this really what you want?!"

Peter:            He was so distraught!  He prayed so intensely, that the sweat was wrung out of him like great drops of blood.  But he didn’t let up – just prayed all the harder.  After a while, he got up and came back to where we were waiting.
He found us asleep.
James:             We didn’t know what to do.
He had never asked us to do anything like this before. 
He wasn’t teaching and we weren’t there to listen; he wasn’t asking us to run errands or take care of any details.
He just wanted us to sit there, near him, while he had this frightening utter breakdown. 
What can I say? We were embarrassed, self-conscious, overwhelmed and afraid.  I guess after the long, weird night, the dinner, the wine and the hours under the stars with no clear directions as to how we were supposed to help him, we just sort of… fell asleep.

Peter:             He shook us awake, well, kicked us actually, or me, at least. He was completely beside himself.  Soaked through with sweat, wild with frustration. 

Jesus:            You’re sleeping? Can’t you even stay awake with me for one hour? 

Peter:            He cried out at us, whether we couldn’t even stay awake with him for even one hour, though I am certain it had been much longer than that.  We felt terrible, ashamed but really uncomfortable too. What did he expect?

John:            He was afraid.  “This is so hard.”  he said to us. 
“The spirit is willing, but the flesh is so weak.” 
He seemed deeply and genuinely afraid.  “I don’t know if I can do this,” he said, “and I pray for you – and you should too – that you never ever have to be in such a terrible time of trial as I am right now.”

James:            It was then that the lights came bouncing over the hill and the sound of a raucous crowd met our ears.  He turned towards commotion, and said:

Jesus:            Get up.  My betrayer comes.  It begins.


Reflection


Tonight I want to debunk two myths about prayer.  The first one is that “prayer warriors", or those who pray a lot, those who rely on prayer, never doubt or struggle. I think we tend to picture people with strong prayer lives as those who have some kind of unshakable belief, some kind of certainty - that they pray with confidence, with sureness that they know what God wants, or even that they can tell God what God should do and God will do it.
This is one of many grave misconceptions about prayer. 

Here is Jesus praying. Jesus. Afraid. Alone. Pleading. Filled with sorrow. Knowing what is coming and wanting with everything inside him for it not to be so.  And telling God all of that. Just sitting with it in the presence of God and letting it all hang out. That Jesus – the very incarnation of God in humanity – would pray in this way, shows us that there is more to prayer than we might think.

Prayer is baring your soul to God. It isn’t censored for content; isn’t figuring out what we think God wants to hear and saying that. It’s trusting God enough to simply pour out our hearts. To plead. to beg. And it’s also trusting God enough to know yourself to be in God’s hands no matter what.

Being held by God doesn’t mean there wont be suffering. It doesn’t mean there wont be sorrow or pain. It means that those things cannot destroy you, you belong to God. And belonging to God means God wants to hear what we are afraid to say. And it means saying it can’t do a single thing to change the fact that God has got us.  God has got us.

Anne Lamott has said of her own life, "I have a lot of faith. But I am also afraid a lot, and have no real certainty about anything. I remembered something [my friend] Father Tom had told me–that the opposite of faith is not doubt, but certainty. Certainty is missing the point entirely. Faith includes noticing the mess, the emptiness and discomfort, and letting it be there until some light returns." 

Jesus showed us how to pray with this kind of faith.
Praying is the language of our life together. And it isn’t always expressions of gratitude, and it’s rarely declarations of certainty. Sometimes it is pleading. Sometimes it is sorrow. Sometimes it is groanings too deep for words. That is faithful prayer.

The other myth about prayer that I want to debunk tonight is that prayer is something best done alone.  Prayer, like everything about faith really – like reading scripture, like worship, like following Jesus and whatever that means in our lives – is best done with others. 
This is Jesus’ pain, Jesus’ grief. It’s his prayer here.  But he wants his friends around him. He wants them to be near him. Just to stay awake. Just not to leave him alone. Just to share – in some small way, and despite their confusion and discomfort – his sorrow, his terror.  His prayers find courage when others are nearby, holding him in love.  It’s not about what they say. There is nothing they can do. He doesn’t want them to give him good advice or religious cheer-ups!, he just wants them to share his grief so that he is not alone.  When they are there, God’s presence is tangible.  When they are with him, for him, he finds the strength, the voice, to trust God with his pain.

We gather tonight in the garden. The first Station of the Cross, the beginning of Jesus’ last week, and we seek to follow Jesus on this journey.  And truly this room is the garden.  Because earlier today, it was filled with flowers, and tears and people who were here to share sadness with someone they love.  People who have nothing to say, nothing to do, except to stay awake with and for their friends, to be near them in their terrible grief and unfathomable loss. 

As we lift up the world in prayer tonight, those we know and those we’ve never met, as we hold up tonight people suffering in unimaginable ways – earthquakes and tsunamis, losing children, and losing hope, and as we stand with each other in all the ways death breathes down our own necks, as we stand at the beginning of this journey to the cross, we do not shy away from pleading and sorrow.

We will encourage each other just to say what is, and not to try to clean it up with religious pep talks or give God easy outs.  We will come with the world’s pain and lay it before the cross.  In other words, we will pray. With Jesus in the garden, we will pray.

But we will also stand with and for each other, we will stand on behalf of the world, we will strive to do the very most basic thing we can – to stay awake and see and hear the pain and grief, not to hide from it or cover it up.  That is the way of faith. That is the way of Christ.
Amen.



"In the Garden" script copyright, Kara K Root. May be used with permission.

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