Dear Diary...

Devotion for Being Apart -
July 2

This summer, I will share new devotions from time to time,
and invite you to browse through devotions that have been posted on this blog.

Good morning!

While we have been on the topic of going gentle on ourselves because of what a weird time this is, I came across this yesterday on Facebook, the author is unknown. 

Dear Diary 2020 Edition,

In January, Australia caught on fire. I don’t even know if that fire was put out, because we straight up almost went to war with Iran. We might actually still be almost at war with them. I don’t know, because Jen Aniston and Brad Pitt spoke to one another at an awards show and everyone flipped the f--- out, but then there was thing happening in China, then Prince Harry and Megan peaced out of the Royal family, and there was the whole impeachment trial, and then corona virus showed up in the US “officially,” but then Kobe died and UK peaced out of the European Union.

In February, Iowa crapped itself with the caucus results and the president was acquitted and the Speaker of the House took ten years to rip up a speech, but then WHO decided to give this virus a name COVID-19, which confused some really important people in charge of, like, our lives, into thinking there were 18 other versions before it, but then Harvey Weinstein was found guilty, and Americans started asking if Corona beer was safe to drink, and everyone on Facebook became a doctor who just knew the flu like killed way more people than COVID 1 through 18.

In March, shit hit the fan. Warren dropped out of the presidential race and Sanders was like Bernie or bust, but then Italy shut its whole ass down, and then COVID Not 1 through 18 officially become what everyone already realized, a pandemic and then a nationwide state of emergency was declared in US, but it didn’t really change anything, so everyone was confused or thought it was still just a flu, but then COVID Not 18 was like ya’ll not taking me seriously? I’m gonna infect the one celebrity everyone loves and totally infected Tom Hanks, but then the DOW took a shit on itself, and most of us still don’t understand why the stock market is so important or even a thing (I still don’t), but then we were all introduced to Tiger King. (Carol totally killed her husband), and Netflix was like you’re welcome, and we all realized there was no way we were washing our hands enough in the first place because all of our hands are now dry and gross.

In April, Bernie finally busted himself out of the presidential race, but then NYC became the set of The Walking Dead and we learned that no one has face masks, ventilators, or toilet paper, or THE FREAKING SWIFFER WET JET LIQUID, but then Kim Jong-Un died, but then he came back to life… or did he? Who knows, because then the Pentagon released videos of UFOs and nobody cared, and we were like man, it’s only April….

In May, the biblical end times kicked off historical locust swarms and then we learned of murder hornets and realized that 2020 was the start of the Hunger Games but people forgot to let us know, but then people legit protested lockdown measures with AR-15s, and then sports events were cancelled everywhere. But then people all over America finally reached a breaking point with race issues and violence. There were protests in every city, but then people forgot about the pandemic called COVID Not One Through 18. Media struggled with how to focus on two important things at once, but then people in general struggle to focus on more than one important thing, and a dead whale was found in the middle of the Amazon rain forest after monkeys stole COVID 1 Through 19 from a lab and ran off with them, and either in May or April (no one is keeping track of time now) that a giant asteroid narrowly missed Earth.

In June, science and common sense just got thrown straight out the window and somehow wearing masks became a political thing, but then a whole lot of people realized the south was actually the most unpatriotic thing ever and actually lost the civil war, and there are a large amount of people who feel that statues they don’t even know the name of are needed for … history reasons..... but then everyone sort of remembered there was a pandemic, but then decided that not wearing a mask was somehow a God given right (still haven't found that part in the bible or even in the constitution), but then scientists announced they found a mysterious undiscovered mass at the center of the earth, and everyone was like DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH IT, but then everyone took a pause to realize that people actually believed Gone With The Wind was like non-fiction, but then it was also announced that there is a strange radio signal coming from somewhere in the universe that repeats itself every so many days, and everyone was like DON’T YOU DARE ATTEMPT TO COMMUNICATE WITH IT, but then America reopened from the shut down that actually wasn’t even a shut down, and so far, things have gone spectacularly not that great, but everyone is on Facebook arguing that masks kill because no one knows how breathing works, but then Florida was like hold my beer and let me show you how we’re number one in all things, including new Not Corona Beer Corona Virus. Trump decides now is a good time to ask the Supreme Court to shut down Obama Care because what better time to do so than in the middle of a pandemic, but then we learned there was a massive dust cloud coming straight at us from the Sahara Desert, which is totally normal, but this is 2020, so the ghost mummy thing is most likely in that dust cloud, but then I learned of meth-gators, and I'm like that is so not on my f-ing 2020 Bingo card, but then we learned that the Congo's worse ever Ebola outbreak is over, and we were all like, there was an Ebola outbreak that was the worse ever?

In July…. Aliens? Zeus? Asteroids? Artificial Intelligence becomes self aware?

Maybe today is a good day for us to circle back for a booster dose of Rumi's Guest House -
(with painting: Jackson Pollock, “The Key,” 1946, shared today in this lovely form by Parker Palmer.)


 

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CONNECTING RITUAL:

 

Perhaps tonight before we go to bed, whatever time that is in each of our homes, we can pray in this way, and so join our souls with each other and the people of the whole earth:

Tonight let's recite scripture as our form of prayer.
The first is a blessing. Repeat several times until you feel yourself hear and receive it.
The second is a psalm. Let this prayer of the ancients be your prayer this night.

God has not given us a spirit of fear,
but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7
 

Psalm 4

Answer me when I call, O God, 
for you are the God of justice.

You set me free when I was hard-pressed: 
be gracious to me now and hear my prayers.

Men and women, 
how long will you turn my glory to my shame?
How long will you love what is worthless and run after lies?

Know that God has shown me such wonderful kindness: 
when I call out in prayer, God hears me.

Tremble, admit defeat, and sin no more. 
Look deep into your heart before you sleep and be still.

Bring your gifts, just as you are, and put your trust in God.
Many are asking, Who can make us content?

The light of your countenance has gone from us, O God. 
Yet you have given my heart more gladness
than those whose corn and wine and oil increase.

I lie down in peace and sleep comes at once, 
for in you alone, O God, do I dwell unafraid.

Good to Remember

Devotion for Being Apart -
July 1

This summer, I will share new devotions from time to time,
and invite you to browse through devotions that have been posted at this blog.

Here are a couple of things floating around the internet that have been helpful to me this week.  The first is just a gentle reminder.



This second one was interesting. When I began reading the lists of "how deficiency affects you", my daughter and I laughed so hard we cried.  We're now asking each other bizarre things like, "How's your serotonin?" and telling each other to take a cold shower or go for a walk.



These two reminders have joined our family's growing "pandemic survival fridge collection," which includes such classics as:





and of course,



These help us stay connected to our bodies, and pay attention to our minds and hearts.  They help us remember this is a really unusual time, and we may be reacting even when we think we are not.
Beloveds, this is our first pandemic. And not only that, but, (as someone put it so beautifully to me yesterday) "We are in a reckoning or a recalibration and it goes beyond a pandemic."  This is all of our first time through all of this.  Grace to you. Grace to those around you. Grace to us all.

What reminders are helping you stay grounded?  What helps you take a deep breath? How are you remembering that we belong to God? How are you remembering the we belong to each other?

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CONNECTING RITUAL:

Perhaps this morning, whatever time that is in each of our homes, we can pray in this way, and so join our souls with each other and the people of the whole earth:

Set a timer for 5 minutes. Pause, sit still, and breathe.  End with this prayer: 

In the busyness of this day
grant me a stillness of seeing, O God,
In the conflicting voices of my heart
grant me a calmness of hearing.
Let my seeing and hearing
my words and my actions
be rooted in silent certainty of your presence.
Let my passions for life
and the longings for justice that stir within me
be grounded in the experience of your stillness.
Let my life be rooted in the ground of your peace, O God,
let me be rooted in the depths of your peace.
Amen.

(From Celtic Benediction, by J. Philip Newell)

It's ok to not be happy

Devotion for Being Apart -
June 17

We will share a devotion Sundays, Mondays, and Wednesdays through Fridays.
- Kara

I saw a fleeting headline today that Americans' happiness measure is the lowest it's been in over 50 years. I am not surprised. I feel it in myself. I had a burst of rally at the beginning of the pandemic - kicked it into productivity mode and met the challenge head on. Then it went on, and on, and on, and still there is no conceivable end in sight.

Then the collective trauma swept in from another angle, as our city cried out about the death of George Floyd, and the issues of systemic racism and police brutality that we've circled around for decades were thrown into the open and are now being talked about with more honesty and clarity possibly than ever before.  It's feeling like an open wound we're really eager (and perhaps a bit impatient) to heal.  But this too has gone on a long time, centuries, and the pain of it will continue, even as the healing happens. Healing is a painful and slow process, and this thing is deeper and more pervasive than we've often let ourselves acknowledge. There's going to need to to be prodding and poking, and exposing infection and cutting out death, and cleansing and tending to this, for a very long time. Truthfully, there is no end in sight.

And the future continues to be on hold.  Things continue to get canceled.  The economy continues to teeter.  Stability continues to feel like a shaky prospect.  And making even little plans is getting more complicated instead of less - because it feels like we're in it on our own to figure out how to navigate things without cohesive guidance or mutual agreement about what that should look like. And the virus rages on - it's not done, even though we are so done with it.

So unknown remains the biggest factor of life right now.  We just keep living, day after day, in the unknown.  With no end in sight.  Kind of hard to feel "happy."  Thank God for the moments we do, but much of the time we're too busy feeling all sorts of other muddled things.  And rightfully so.

It's ok to not be happy.
That's not a very modern American thing to say.  We think being happy is the highest goal in life. But it's not.
Other goals might be: to be real. To be connected. To be awake to this life. To share in it.  To contribute. To take it in with gratitude. To leave it having helped somewhat. To know God and each other and ourselves.  To uphold each other as human beings.

I feel generally kind of rotten. It feels important to say that.  There's no shame in being tired, worn out, discouraged, or depressed, depleted or weary or anxious. It's an anxious time. I am trying to recognize and have compassion for myself in the anxiety, (the "squeezing" - we said back in March that anxiety was a reasonable response. It still is.).
I'm reminding myself that I can trust that new life comes out of these times, and it's not because we put on a happy face and power through.

I am not pretending things are fine.  I am not throwing myself into the fray, ignoring my sadness or fatigue. And bonus: I am exposing the idol of happiness in my life. That allows me to refocus my aim on being present and true.

How are you today?  What are you feeling and needing today?  
I hate coming back to this again and again, but I think again my need is for mourning.  At least, it eases my tension and anxiety when I realize that's a need I can meet.  And I am meeting it anyway - whether it's by being short and irritable with my family and pretending it's their fault, or letting myself sit down and have a good cry.  I can choose how I want to meet the need to mourn.  And I can let others in my home meet the need for mourning too, without trying to make them be "happy," when happiness doesn't make a ton of sense right now.

One gift of trying hard to stay honest in this time and not hide it, is that we get to receive care.  I'm not super good at this - I would way rather give care than receive it. But to be human is to do both.  We are all ministers, after all, made in the image of the Divine Minister.  We are created to give and receive care with each other. I do believe that's the whole purpose of this life - we're here to care for one another and receive each other's care. It's how we experience what's real: that we belong to God and we belong to each other - with no end in sight.

Today my friend Lilly Lewin sent me a text:
"Sending you a bit of beauty in the midst of all the messiness of life!"
She attached this photo, and the following prayer and scripture.
It was just what my soul needed; she brought me back to my belonging to God and others by showing me care.
Perhaps it is what your soul needs today too?
(It's ok if it's not.  If it's not - what does your soul need today? How can you be honest with yourself about that need, and maybe even share that need with another?)



O Holy Spirit, give me stillness of soul in you.
Calm the turmoil within, with the gentleness of your peace.
Quiet the anxiety within, with a deep trust in you.
Heal the wounds of sin within, with the joy of your forgiveness.
Strengthen the faith within, with the awareness of your presence.
Confirm the hope within, with the knowledge of your strength.
Give fullness to the love within, with an outpouring of your love.
O Holy Spirit, be to me a source of light, strength and courage
so that I may hear your call ever more clearly
and follow you more generously.

- William Browning, CP, "An Anxious Person's Prayer"

Come to me all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

- Matthew 11:28-29

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CONNECTING RITUAL:

Perhaps tonight before bed, whatever time that is in each of our homes, we can pray in this way, and so join our souls with each other and the people of the whole earth:

God, another day is ended, another day begins.
Still me in your rest.
Quiet me in your strength.
Sustain me through the unknown.
May I surrender now to sleep,
entrusting myself to you,
just as I am.

When I awaken to a new day,
give me courage to feel what I am feeling,
to be right where I am.
Give me opportunities to care for others,
chances to receive care from others,
and grace to care for myself.

Thank you for this day that is ending,
for the healing happening,
and the hope taking root,
for the disorientation of the unknown,
that drives me to seek you,
and for the ways our shared pain
connects us more deeply
to you and each other.

Thank you for your presence with me
still
always,
right now, and
in the day I will wake up to tomorrow,

Your love holds me,

and holds this world,

with no end in sight.
Amen.

While we are weak

Devotion for Being Apart -

June 14

We will share a devotion Sundays, Mondays, and Wednesdays through Fridays.

- Kara

 

Romans 5:1-8

Very often, we let fear tell us who we are instead of faith.  But, while we were weak, Paul says, while we were helpless to earn a thing, unable on our own to choose anything but our own demise, Christ died for us.  

 While we were enemies, God reconciled us to each other. God didn’t say Get it a little more together first, and get back to me. God didn't say, You're on your own with this one.  

God said, Now, you, just as you are, in the farthest from me and each other that you can be, and the most against me and each other that you can get, I choose you. I love you. I claim and forgive and welcome you.

Christ took on our division from God, and our violence against each other, into God’s own self.  In his own human body, it was put to death, and with Christ we were raised to life, so that our relationship to God is Christ’s relationship to God – we are inside the love of the Father to the Son and that cannot be broken.

 

Let's be clear: suffering is not good. Suffering is terrible. It is suffering.  But that doesn’t stop God for a second. Nothing can stop God’s love and redemption.  Not worry or fear or apathy or depression, not systemic evil or our own cruelty or ignorance, not even the most terrible thing we can dream up, or do, or experience, has the power to stop God’s love.

 

What Paul is saying here is not prescriptive, it’s descriptive; he’s not telling us what to think or feel or believe about suffering, he’s showing us something true. Nothing can stop the mighty love of God.  It’s love so powerful that that it can make hope out of suffering.  It’s love that shapes us for life that belongs to God and each other, by forming in us endurance and character, and bringing us to hope, which David Steindl-Rast calls, “passion for the possible.” Hope is “the future of God that doesn’t come later.”  He says, “hope happens when the bottom drops out of pessimism.  We have nowhere to fall but into the ultimate reality of God's motherly caring.”

 

Sometimes we are going to feel peace. Sometimes we will feel strong and sure and steady. We will trust and know that God is at work, and we will confidently join in. Thank God for those times.

Other times - maybe more often right now - we will feel weak. We will slip into believing lies, trusting fear, letting worry or despair tell us what is real, and either knowingly or unknowingly participating in destruction. But it is not our faithfulness that saves us, it’s God’s.  It’s not our great attitude, or good work, or consistent trust, or tireless efforts that change the world, it's God’s love, God’s grace, God’s redemption.  May we fall into the motherly care of God, to receive that grace for ourselves and offer it to each other. 

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CONNECTING RITUAL:

 

Perhaps tonight before bed, whatever time that is in each of our homes, we can pray in this way, and so join our souls with each other and the people of the whole earth:

Lord, I am weak. 
I am incapable of trusting, unable to live in freedom, 
and I keep on choosing bondage instead of life.  
But I see the power of your love. 
I see what forgiveness can do, and what hope opens up; 
I have experienced your grace 
and I want to be part of it with my whole being. 
I want faith to tell me what is real instead of fear. 

So God, I lift up to you now those places of fear, where I long to see your presence and activity in my life and in the world....

And I lift up those places of hope, where I have seen your love and tasted your joy....

Help me trust in your faithfulness. 
Help me believe that you always bring life out of death,
 and trust that you will bring life from the places of death 
within and around me right now. 
I want my life to participate – to grieve, and forgive ,and set free, and heal, and welcome, and repent, and witness your redemption every single day; Lord, use me.
Connect my being again to your own,
and to all others,
that I may know you love us, 
and that my living may flow from that truth. 

Amen.

Imperfect Together

Daily Devotion - June 4

I will send a brief message each day (except Mondays)

while we are pausing gathering in person.

- Kara

This morning I read this article: “Paternalistic Racism of Nice White People.”  

  

I recognized myself, both because I had this messaging in my own upbringing, and also because I contributed to groceries that day at Sanford Middle School.

Here’s the gift of this time. Discomfort. Confession. Recognition of the sin (another word for division from God and each other) that has a hold on us, sin we join in without realizing it.  

Also, I do not regret sharing groceries.  The call came from the community and it was something I could respond to.  

A risk of this time is that we try so hard not to do it wrong that it could paralyze us.  We live in a time when we tell each other what to do, what to think, how to act, what to say, and then we are terrified we’ll do, think, act, say the wrong thing and get called out. 

When I get caught up in this, it helps me to return to some things I know are true: 

• God made us to be with and for each other. God intentionally created us diverse and different from each other, each single person unique. We ALL belong to God and we ALL belong to each other.  
• Sin / the Way of Fear / systemic evil tells us we have to earn our way, some lives are of higher value than others, we are in competition, there is only so much  - voice, justice, respect, resources – to go around, so we have to decide who gets it and who goes without.  These are lies.  
• We believe the lies most of the time. Even when we are trying to do right in the world, even right in the middle of it, we are often believing the lies.  The response is not to judge ourselves for not getting it right – that’s part of the lies too.
• We will never get it right.  It’s not about getting it right. It’s about being a human being alongside other human beings. 
• Being human is vulnerable. It feels uncomfortable a lot of the time because it feels risky, scary, weak.  
• The greatest strength we have is when we are in our most honest place of weakness, when we can receive each other and allow ourselves to be received. We can actually live our shared belonging.

Sin would have us do the wrong things, or the right things for the wrong reasons, or nothing at all because we are so afraid of doing the wrong thing.  It’s a game with no winning.  But the game is false.

As the above article so beautifully said, 

Part of the trouble with the Paternalistic Racism of Nice White People that has been a part of my own experience, is that white people assumed we were to serve as saviors. A quick mistake all of us often make when attempting to change this is to reverse it. And quickly we look to the first black person we're in relationship with to be our savior, to imagine that now instead, it's their turn to save us. 

Part of being a Christian, for those of us who are, is knowing that there's only one Savior, and that's Jesus. We shouldn't make gods of others just as we can't make gods of ourselves. So in working to build relationships, to create a more equitable community, we have to remember our shared humanity first. White people don't need to save black people, and black people also don't need to save white people. Jesus promises to save us all.

And, 

My vessel is imperfect. I was born in a culture that taught me to sin, and into a family that also taught me to love. In this imperfect jar I can lament my imperfections or I can whitewash them and cover them up with good deeds and nice words and passive aggressive utterances of racism. 

Or I can stand, blemished and unblemished, at the foot of the Cross. I can try to tell the truth. I can try to work harder for justice. I can hand off the microphone. I can build authentic, honest relationships with white people and black people alike. I can confess my sin, I can be forgiven, and I can forgive others.

I’d add to this – and so we can forgive ourselves.   

There is never a pure motive or a completely perfect approach, and we are actually not called to that. We are called to know ourselves to be sinners in need of saving. (Remember what salvation is? Wholeness.). And we are called to see each other as children of God.  

We are in need of being restored to our wholeness – to live consistent to our belonging to God and each other. We can’t do this for ourselves, and we can’t do it for each other. But we can come alongside one another in our brokenness and confess, and listen, and offer care to, and be willing to receive care from, each other. When we do that, God restores us to wholeness.

As for the Sanford food drive that requested 85 bags of food for their impacted families, the school called in The Sheridan Story, who took over distribution of the food to the whole impacted community.  Because while Paternalistic Racism certainly plays a huge role in our lives as Minnesotans, and is undoubtedly woven into what’s happening when white Minnesotans from outside the most impacted areas respond, the other thing that is happening is whole communities coming together, across perceived boundaries of culture, race, city lines, income, and religion, and trying to support each other, drawing on the strong networks and organizations who have already been bringing us together and know how to do this to help guide us.

Here’s the update from The Sheridan Story:

We have distributed most of the food from the food drive at Sanford Middle School on Sunday out in the community.

This was one of the biggest food drives we've ever seen… and perhaps one of the largest-ever in Minnesota. In less than a day, we estimate that over 2,000 families were served. Our amazing community came together, some waiting in line approximately 14 blocks long, to provide a total of about 18 semi-trucks of food. Of these:

•  3 semi-trucks of food were distributed to families the day of the food drive
•  4 semi-trucks of perishable food went to our friends at Loaves and Fishes and Minneapolis Public Schools Culinary and Wellness Services
•  4 semi-trucks of non-perishable food went to us
•  7 semi-trucks have been re-routed to additional collection and distribution points throughout Minneapolis

God uses whatever we give.   

Even while seeking to make us more real – to remove hypocrisy and sin from within our hearts – God calls us to join in our belonging to each other right now. 

To believe we have to earn the right to live in this belonging by making sure we’ve rooted out all sin, or racism, or brokenness from ourselves first is also sin / the way of fear / the lie.  

(By the way, this is the gift of seeking to be “anti-racist” as opposed to the false notion of  “not racist.”  Racism has infected us all; it’s in our un-thought thoughts, and we all operate inside its strictures.  But we can acknowledge its hold on us and also act deliberately against it.  This is a great resource to learn more about anti-racism).  

We can help each other. We can seek to see and hear each other. We belong to each other. Each of us can participate in whatever ways we can, in what God is doing in our communities, city, state, nation and world, to bring wholeness and healing into all our brokenness and division.  We can be imperfect together.

One more message from The Sheridan Story:

POP-UP FOOD DRIVE

As we continue to distribute this extraordinary show of support for those most in need, we hear both the need for food and the desire to help. The calls are loud and clear!

We are collecting donations of food and other essential items at our warehouse.

• Where: 2723 Patton Road, Roseville
• When: Monday - Friday from 10 am - 2pm
• What: Non-perishable canned food, rice, pasta, diapers, wipes, feminine hygiene items, and baby formula
• How: Follow the food donation signs and you'll be able to drop off items in tents we've set up in our parking lot. 

All of the donations we receive will be re-distributed to our community partners in neighborhoods across the metro as quickly as possible!

THANK YOU for showing the positive power of what our community can do together!

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CONNECTING RITUAL:

Perhaps tonight before bed, whatever time that is in each of our homes, we and so join our souls with each other and the people of the whole earth:

I seek your presence, O God,
not  because I have managed to see clearly
or been true in all things this day,
not because I have succeeded in loving
or in reverencing those around me,
but because I want to see with clarity,
because I long to be true
and desire to love as I have been loved.
Renew my inner sight,
make fresh my longings to be true
and grant me the grace of loving this night
that I may end the day as I had hoped to live it,
that I may end this day restored to my deepest yearnings,
that I may end this day as I intend to live tomorrow,
and I intend to live tomorrow.
Amen.

- J Philip Newell, Sounds of the Eternal

Breath

Daily Devotion - May 27

I will send a brief message each day (except Mondays) 

while we are pausing gathering in person. 

- Kara

Our city is grieving, angry, weary.  I have written and erased so many words. I am grieving, angry and weary, and I don't have any words today. 

But my friend, Pastor Jodi Houge, shared this with her congregation today, and it spoke to me. I am grateful for her words.

Breath

The amount of time that we have all spent thinking about breath lately seems staggering. I'm not interested in virtue signaling or an echo chamber because it doesn't lead us anywhere we haven't already been. And I'm tired of the loop.  It's Pentecost this Sunday--and the Spirit blows so hard on those gathered that it feels like everything is coming apart. Perhaps it's time for this to come apart?

We already have a virus that steals breath. And now, we are surrounded by images of a kneeling police officer squeezing the very breath out of a man named George Floyd. While I can't actually find someone to blame for the virus, I do know the collective sin of white supremacy is one I inherited, benefit from and want desperately to be free of. I want things to change because I love your kids and your babies and the expectant parents on the cusp and I want them to grow up without fear. I don't want anyone to have to fight and beg to breathe.

Scripture tells us: "We shall not kill." Lutheran theology takes us to task with a proactive regarding that commandment: "We are to fear and love God, so that we neither endanger nor harm the lives of our neighbors, but instead help and support them in all of life's needs." Baseline: do not kill one another. Next level: help one another live. Racism, church, does not help us live. Not any of us. I have waves of panic when I think specifically of our sweet adolescent boys who are brown or black skinned. George was someone's baby.

Now, there are 10 million actions steps you can take--they are all being heavily circulated right now. But perhaps first we take a minute, a breath, to repent. Because none of those actions steps create real change unless there is change within our own hearts and minds. And as a person of faith, I believe that is holy work. That is the Spirit. That is God-breathed and will bring life.

________

OK, a few words, after all...

When God breathes into dust, life comes where there is no life.  I want to join God in building a world where our belonging to God and each other is the lived reality.  

Our faith gives us two responses, both of which we avoid because they're uncomfortable, and they're honest; they make us face and feel our powerlessness instead of giving us the illusion of power.  But these holy tasks return us to the core of our humanity, and empower us to participate in God bringing life. They are Lament, and Repent. 

When we lament we bear the grief and don't turn away from it. Mouring upholds our shared humanity; it honors the ones who are lost. It keeps us connected to how things should be by bearing the pain that they are not that. 

And when we repent, we confess the brokenness around us, the sin and lies we have absorbed and perpetuated. We come honest to our hearts, so Holy Spirit can cleanse and ready us for the freedom and newness God wants to bring in us and through us.

So today I am returning to breath. I'm lamenting and repenting. 

God, breathe life into the dust of us.
Amen.

CONNECTING RITUAL:

Perhaps tonight before bed, whatever time that is in each of our homes, we and so join our souls with each other and the people of the whole earth:

Tonight, perhaps we can practice both lamenting and repenting, through speaking or singing these words, until we've felt ourselves emptied out and filled up.

Breathe on me, breath of God.
Fill me with life anew,
That I may love
what thou doest love,
an do what thou wouldst do.

Sin, Salvation, and the All-Encompassing Belongingness of God

If my week had a theme, it might be noticing sin.

This week I’ve been forced to own up to the way I let a relationship go and chose avoidance and dishonesty over facing challenging conversations.  And in coming to terms with it, I have had to see that, compounded by years of silence, honestly dealing with it will cause more hurt, and the only way out of it with integrity is to go ahead and tell the truth anyway.

It’s uncomfortable to see sin, both past and present, in my life, and it feels awful, but also good to see it so I can deal with it.

Sin is when we fail to live consistent with who we are made and called to be – when we violate our belonging to God and one another.  It can be personal and internal – letting go of anger, dealing with pride, or self-judgment, and we’re stuck to wrestle inside ourselves with our failure to live consistent with who we are made and called to be. It an be between us, words and actions that hurt or degrade people, that violate the bond we’re meant to share as human beings and act as though we are against instead of for one another.  But most often, it’s both.

This country has a deep sin, our original sin, the sin of racism, which means first of all categorizing people as fundamentally different by the color of their skin, and then labeling some people better, more human or more worthy, and other people worse, less human and less worthy. Then that belief is built into a whole society’s structures and functions so that consistently, both overtly and subtly, for generations, some people are treated as less than and other people as more than, rooting this lie deep inside all people.

Right now our nation is noticing its sin.  

By virtue of the sin itself some people have always noticed it, because it affects their every waking day and it can never be escaped, and others, because they don’t often feel directly impacted by it, can ignore it and look away for weeks, years, even decades at a time.

But right now we cannot look away. 

And it feels awful to be staring at this thing together, this sin at our core, both past and present, but I imagine for those who among us who have stared at it their whole life, it feels good too, to see so many other faces staring at it at once. 

Right now most of this country is looking at the same ugliness and evil and calling a thing what it is. This is a huge part of God’s salvation.

Calling a thing what it is, naming your own story, your own culpability, your own participation in evil, recognizing and saying aloud the way Sin works in you and through you is the only way to salvation. 

We call it Confession or Repentance. 

It’s what comes before forgiveness, but after the grace of God.

God’s grace always comes first. God’s grace is where it starts. 
We begin in abundance and enough for all, harmony and unity in crazy wild and vibrant diversity, all people sharing together in caring for this gorgeous earth and its creatures, all of us made more human by our shared humanity, learning and growing alongside one another. The Way of God is our beginning and our end. 
Anything that takes us away from that is a lie.

We live the lie every day in our country. 

Whether we feel the sting of it in the moment or not, we participate in that lie. Just to illustrate this lie at work, I live in the neighborhood where Philando Castile was shot. He had been pulled over by police 52 times in 13 years. Want to know how many times I have been pulled over in my 26 years of driving? Four.  I was speeding all four times. Two of them I was let off with a warning. As a white woman, I have always felt safe with the police, confident that they are there to protect me. And if I get in trouble it’s because I deserve it, and they are upholding laws that keep us all safe.

Respect, kindness, mutuality, safety - these should not be a privilege. 

We belong to God and we belong to each other.  

Anything less than that is violence to the image of God.

But here is part of the trap – the way of fear, the sin of division, and devaluing each other is so ingrained, that we operate out of that without thinking, without noticing. 

In longing for justice for all, we could settle for revenge against some.  

And wouldn’t it feel so good to hate haters with a more hate than they hate? 

But choosing which people to hate has never been and will never be the answer. And just trying really hard to be good and right and never mess up or hurt others isn’t the answer either (not least of all because it is impossible).

The answer is facing our sin with honesty, letting the sorrow and horror of it wash over us, stepping into our brokenness alongside each other is the place God can meet us and heal us.  In Jesus Christ God so loved the world that God plunged right in alongside and with us into all of it, calling all people children of God, calling all people back to God.  And taking on all sin and evil and division into his very self, God-with-us let it take his life, and then came back to say love is stronger than death. In Christ's complete connection to God and each other, we find the belonging that sets us free to truly live.

Our Psalm today has a repeated refrain: God’s steadfast love endures forever.

Steadfast love is one of the ways the Hebrew word Hesed is translated. Remember Hesed? It was in the story of Ruth and Naomi that we told years ago, and it is all throughout the bible. It’s translated many ways, love, kindness, lovingkindness, mercy, loyalty, favor, devotion, goodness – it captures something of the inner connection and commitment God has toward us, so for years, we’ve called hesed: belongingness.

The belongingness of God is eternal. Nobody is outside of it; nobody gets to put others outside of it. It lasts forever. 

Human beings who have been judged less than and treated as unworthy, they belong to God and belong us.  

Human beings who have grown up sheltered from the suffering of others, benefiting where others don’t, they belong to God and belong to us.  

Human beings who are so filled with hatred and violence they forget their own humanity and purposely dehumanize others, they belong to God and belong to us.  (So then is incumbent on human beings who long for justice and peace not to agree with them and let them off the hook by dismissing them as monsters when they act inhumanely, but instead to call them back to their humanity and hold them accountable it).

The way of fear that says there is only so much belonging to go around – that if we give it to some we must withhold it from others. But the belongingness of God is neverending – eternal – constantly replenishing, spreading and multiplying, claiming us back to the love we came from, the love we are here for, the belongingness we are meant to live into and out of alongside each other.

It doesn’t let us go when we hurt each other, or when we believe the lie about others or about ourselves. Instead it calls us back to confession and repentence, the place where salvation can meet us.

The salvation of God, often called in scripture, the rest of God, is returning to our core, belongingness, being brought back into harmony with God, ourselves and each other, where our souls can be at rest in trust, and we can live consistently with who we are and whose we are. 

Our Psalm today tells of God’s specific salvation, restoration of belongingness, felt right where people needed it most – in their sin and its terrible consequences, in times terror and helplessness, when they were lost or alone, or had reached the end of their capacity to adapt or cope in a crisis.  Each vignette is a story of people who confessed, who recognized their situation – noticed it and cried out to God- And God saved them.

Salvation comes as deliverance from what is holding us captive, wholeness where we are broken, direction where we are lost, and connection where we are severed. It comes as hope in despair and new beginnings after bitter endings.  As this Psalm illustrates, the salvation of God always brings to us just what will heal us – even if it isn’t necessarily what we think it should be – because it is always about restoring us to belongingness in God, and that is not always comfortable, or easy, or fun.  

And it doesn’t mean dead people come back (yet), fortunes are reversed, the world is suddenly fair, or pain we’ve caused can be taken back and erased. But it means the way forward in Christ is deep and true connection to God and each other.  This is where it all began and it’s where it will end up when all is said and done.

So, as brothers and sisters in Christ, the Body of the living Christ here on earth, embodying God’s belongingness in and for the world, we are not to fear the lie that tries to mislead us, or hide us from the pain and suffering of others. 

We are not to fear the lie that says violence is stronger than love, or that hating is ok as long as you direct it at the right people. 

And we are not to fear looking into our own souls and our own actions for the evil and sin that keeps us from belongingness and withholds it from others.

We are to confess them out in the open where salvation can meet them.  

And we are to live the crazy trust that God’s abundant and neverending love and steadfast belongingness is bigger than our sin, wider than our divisions, deeper than our pain and our alienation, and higher than our human goals and aspirations.  

God’s steadfast love is eternal and beyond us, and right here next to us; it embraces and claims us, so we can see each other, listen to each other, confront each other, forgive each other, and thank the Lord for God’s steadfast love, For God’s wonderful works to humankind.

This Psalm was written to be read out, sung out, spoken by a community as a kind of call and response; it was meant to be shared by a diverse gathering of people rejoicing together.  It places them within a bigger story, the eternal belongingness of God throughout history, in the lives of those gone before and yet to come, God redeems and heals and restores. And so it becomes an invitation to honestly recount the stories of their need, and share how God has been faithful in their lives, and to name where they need salvation now, and remember God’s belongingness that holds and heals them even as they are belonging to each other in this act of sharing it all aloud.

So here is what I would share:

Some were forced to acknowledge that their own actions had wounded another.  By avoiding conflict and distress, they’d let dishonesty and division grow.  They felt ashamed and dismayed at the further hurt coming clean would cause.

Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,

And God delivered them from their distress:

God helped them look honestly at themselves, and confess to the person,

to see that forgiveness and reconciliation can only emerge when you tell the truth.

Let them thank the Lord for God’s steadfast love,

For God’s wonderful works to humankind.

For God persists in calling us to belonging,

and offers endless opportunities to make things right, even when it feels hard.

Some were watching their country in turmoil,

as deep sin and evil rose up from within and made itself known once again.

Anger, violence, sorrow and distress surrounded them,

And they felt like they were drowning in the noise of arguing and blaming, 

lamenting and shaming, calling to action and name calling,

and they longed for clarity, direction and hope.

Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,

And God delivered them from their distress:

God brought them side by side with someone in silence to lift up this nation in prayer. 

God reminded them that forgiveness and salvation can only come after confession and repentance. And God showed them stories of people facing our sin and turning toward each other in belonging.

Let them thank the Lord for God’s steadfast love,

For God’s wonderful works to humankind.

For God brings life out of death, always, and God will never stop, God’s justice will prevail.

Let all who are wise give heed to these things,

And consider the steadfast love of the Lord.
Amen.



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Some helpful articles:
"What I told my White Friend When He Asked My Black Opinion on White Privilege."
"What I saw in Charlottesville" 
"For Our White Friends Desiring to be Allies"
"How To Make Fun of Nazis" 
"The Power of Non-Violent Action: South Africa and Poland" (High school curriculum)