A day to say Thank You

Daily Devotion - May 9

I will send a brief message each day (except Mondays)
while we are pausing gathering in person.
- Kara

Tomorrow is Mother's Day in the US. It's a holiday made even trickier by a quarantine keeping families apart during this time.  Plus, (just like on Easter) Minnesotans are staring down a frigid forecast.  

The past few years, it seems that Mother's Day - like so much else - has become divisive.  In trying to be sensitive to each other's pain and varied experience, we back off of things that are real - like having mothers - or we tell others how they should talk about, or even feel about, things like Mother's Day. (For some reason, it's way more contentious than Father's Day).  There's no perfect, universally right way to handle it. We can be gentle with ourselves and each other, and choose for ourselves what this day will mean to us and our families.

Perhaps this controversy hasn't touched you, and your day will be spent in traditions your own family has cultivated and enjoyed. That is a gift.

Perhaps the day feels awful because the quarantine has meant pausing IVF, or because of an unfulfilled longing to be a mother.  

Or perhaps it's long been a difficult day for you.  If that's true, I invite you to compassion for yourself. Maybe it needs to be a holiday ignored, and that's ok. You also might decide to welcome whatever feelings and needs arise.  Sometimes the need to mourn is acute, and can be invited to the surface by something like a holiday.  It can be empowering and beautiful to recognize that. Also, mourning is a need that can be met if we let ourselves.  And when a need is met, we often feel peace, gratitude, connection or security.

Perhaps it's your first Mother's Day as a new mom or grandmother, (or father or grandfather!) and it has a special meaning to you.  Blessings on your day!

Perhaps Mother's Day is newly painful.  Whether you've recently lost a mother, or a child, or been isolated from your mother or children during this time, this day may feel poignant and hard.  That's ok too.  Our pain points us to our love.

Our relationship to this holiday changes as our lives change. Last year, my husband was out of the country, my teenage son was oblivious, and my daughter was sick, so I began the day grumpy about us having no real celebration. Then I realized that I generally enjoy mothering, and on this day I could turn that mothering energy toward myself. I prepared three meals of my favorite foods (things I don't often eat when cooking things everyone else will eat), I bought myself a delicious novel on my kindle, and I spent a good part of the day outside, reading and enjoying the sun.

However tomorrow meets you, may you know yourself to be held in the love of God, who wisely wove us together as human beings inextricable from each other - coming from, given to, and caring for each other. May you feel the blessing of belonging in the human family, and may you find ways to bless those around you.

 “As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you..." Isaiah 66:13

Thoughts on Mothering & Mother’s Day

Mothering is a messy, complicated business-

just like humaning,

with impossible expectations,

deep longings,

piercing pain

and incomprehensible joy. 

On Mother's Day 

gratitude and sadness

intermingle-

as they do whenever we are really

paying attention. 

The mothers

we wish we'd been...

the mothers

we wish we'd had...

the mothers

we wish were still with us...

the mothers

we never knew...

the "mothers"

we've had along the way

who made us who we are today...

the mothers

we've watched our daughters become...

or not...

All of their faces rise before us.

So we pause and

welcome them in,

 whatever emotions they bring.

This I know:

pain does not disqualify

gladness.

And love and gratitude

do not dishonor grief and sorrow. 

We are all in this together-

mothers, mothered, motherless -

siblings in the human family. 

Life is hard.

It's good to have days

when we on purpose say

Thank You.

So,

to all mothers, thank you.

for all mothers, Lord, thank you. 

And most of all, God, for mothering us,

Thank you.

- Kara Root

CONNECTING RITUAL:

Perhaps tonight before bed, whatever time that is in each of our homes, we and so join our souls with each other and the people of the whole earth:

Whether you will be celebrating Mother's Day tomorrow or not, tonight can be a chance to give thanks for the mothering in our lives.

Thank you God, for those who've mothered me, especially....

Thank you God, for the mothers I know and admire, especially....

Thank you God, for those you've let me nurture, teach and care for in this life, especially....

Thank you God, for the ways you've mothered me this year, especially....

Please surround these people with your mothering love....

Amen.