Summer is a wild
ride when you’re a kid.
You’re used to
waking up early, getting dressed right away, packing up your homework from the
night before and heading off to eight completely structured hours, with clear
expectations, a system of grades and accountability, a sense of progress and
strict guidelines. Evenings are
shaped by homework, hockey practice, piano lessons and regimented ritual.
Then one day in
June you wake up and all bets are off.
The sun rises to 14 glorious wide open
and unaccounted-for hours. What
will you do? What wont you do? Please!
And at first it
is spectacular.
You don’t feel
like getting dressed? Then don’t!
You forgot to
brush your teeth? So what!
Inside, outside,
games, tv, bikes, neighbors, sprinklers and sidewalk chalk and bare feet and
sudden bouts of boredom (who even remembers what that feels like??) It’s an
absolute dream come true.
What if you could do whatever you wanted – begs the tantalizing question of
summer, all day, every day, for 96 days?
(My kids counted it out.)
Well, easy, it
would be AWESOME, my children quickly answered.
But eat that
whole box of popsicles, my friends, one right after another, and after a few
days it’s not so awesome. Something
shifts, and you begin craving your veggies and your daily morning announcements.
What does 5 hours
of screen time in a row feel like? Gross, that’s what.
What happens to your
room if you don’t clean it? Your
teeth if you don’t brush them?
Your psyche if you start staying up late but continue waking up
early? It’s not pretty, people. Pretty soon it’s meltdown city. And not
only the parents. Pretty soon, you start to find that you need something more
than absolute freedom.
But this year we
stumbled onto something surprising in our household.
A few days in, we
scraped ourselves off the floor and hung a list on the fridge entitled, “Summer
Weekdays.”
Now every day
Owen and Maisy have certain things they need to accomplish, such as: read,
play, 1 hour of time alone, 1 chore, tidy their room, take a shower – you get
the gist.
And at the end of
the list each day are four questions:
Did you remember
to:
brush your teeth?
limit screen
time?
practice
kindness?
take
responsibility for your own actions?
And as soon as
that list hit the fridge things changed.
We didn’t tell them when they had to do what, just that by bedtime, they
need to have completed the list. But
a spark was lit inside them and they rallied to its light. Stopping in
throughout the day, their lists gave them purpose, enough structure to feel
human again, but enough freedom to feel unrestricted. They started paying attention to how they were existing in
their body and mind, in their space and relationships, and this compass helped
their self-guided days to be much more fun than the 14 straight hours of rudderless
freedom had been.
That list is like
the law had been for the Israelites.
Released from soul-crushing slavery in Egypt that dictated every move
and prescribed their very being, they are suddenly faced with complete
freedom. And God gave them the law
– here is what freedom looks like well
spent. Here is how to be in relationship with one another, yourselves, and me
as free people. Given who you
really are, here is how you are now free to live.
In this freedom from slavery, where you
belong to me, Yahweh says, not to Pharaoh, your worth is not
determined by what work I can get out of you or how much you produce, or even
how well you obey.
It is determined by my love, my having
made you, my knowing who you were meant to be all along and asking you to live
now freely into that identity.
So, as free people, you won’t steal from
each other, because you will all have enough and you will share what you have
with each other. You wont harm or kill each other, because you will value one
another deeply and work out your differences even when it’s hard, and you will
forgive each other and restore right relationship between you. You wont live in consuming jealousy of
each other’s lives, you will live in gratitude for your own life, joyfully
contributing your voice and your experiences to the whole, to the benefit of
others. You get the picture. The law was an incredible gift. It helped them to be truly free.
And then,
gradually, sin - that ravenous instinct toward self-preservation and
self-determination, over-against each other and ultimately God as well - crept
in, and people began to use the law as some kind of template to personal security
with God, a way to get ahead, to manage their own fate and earn a relationship
with God that was already theirs.
And for some, the law morphed into a straight up to-do list that got
bigger and longer, (because after all, if everyone gets Pokemon cards at the
end of the week for doing these things, then shouldn’t I get MORE cards if I do
even MORE things? After all, if we
keep the standards too low, ANYBODY could get in, and then how will we know
who’s the best)?
And when this
sort of thing happens, inevitably competition and jealousy breed, and judgment
and self-righteousness grow, and then on the flip side, those who can’t compete
give up, and sacrifice their humanity to their desires, which goes something
like, Well, I blew it and lost the reward
anyway, so what does it matter what I do? I’m going to get in trouble anyway,
so what’s even the point? I’ll do
what I want when I want. Forget
your stupid list. Nobody can tell
me what to do.
And if my
behavior hurts you, or myself, if it disconnects me from those around me, or stifles
and silences my creativity, contribution and capacity to share, that is of no
concern to me, or feels too obscure to even consider. You said I’m free.
So I’ll do what I want. Which
really means, this all feels impossible
and I give up.
And then that
nasty drive for self-preservation also breeds gaping division. We tear each other down to prove our
points, we label and dismiss one another, summing up others with snap judgments
and easy assumptions. We make others
less than human in an effort to have our own humanity upheld.
STOP!!! Paul
screams into this chaos. Stop it right now!
Who do you think
you are? You are freed for freedom in Christ. Freed! Freed to live as real humans, as image-bearer of the Divine!
Freed to live for each other, to live
in the love you were created for to begin with!
This is our
fourth installment in Paul’s mad letter to the church in Galatia, where a group
of original Christians, that is, Jewish Christians, had arrived among the new
baby gentile Christians and brought their refrigerator list with them, the
extended version, no less. And
while this list had clearly been meaningful for them, it was nothing less than
a barrier to God for the Galatians, who had come to Jesus with completely
different versions of slavery, and different abuses of freedom, and a different
experience of salvation altogether. The paradigm didn’t translate, and the list
they brought became lifeless shackles. The Galatians’ fridge needed some
different reminders hung up.
Here’s the thing:
The temptation to either avoid or to abuse our freedom, to live as slaves to
our own quest for self-preservation, is so deeply ingrained, in our very dna,
that we feel the pull all the time. It’s a battle, Paul says. Like a war
within ourselves. Literally his
words are, Don’t make self-indulgence your “base of operations.” Don’t let your
identity rest in the quest to satisfy yourself. Instead live from the freedom you have been given.
We’ve seen what
happens when the law is distorted by sin’s self-preservation, separating us
from God and each other in a kind of burdensome slavery, now Paul shows us what
happens when freedom itself is distorted by sin’s self-preservation, separating
us from God and each other in a kind of trapped slavery.
And here it might
be helpful to turn to a different translation – a modern paraphrase.
It is obvious what
kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time:
repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a rotten accumulation of mental and emotional
garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; the worship of possessions
and power; cults of personality; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition;
all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love
or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided
pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival;
uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could
go on.
And then Paul
describes true freedom, living as we were meant to live, in a list we’ve written
in sharpie and hung up in grapes, apples and oranges in Sunday school rooms
throughout the decades, aka, the fruit of the Spirit, which could sound
something like this:
But what happens
when we live God’s way? The Spirit brings gifts into our lives, much the same
way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others,
exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things,
a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness
permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments,
not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies
wisely. (The Message)
Here’s the thing:
lists of rules on our fridge, if they were simply imposed on our kids
arbitrarily with absolute obedience demanded, would produce nothing but
fighting, bribing and shaming our kids, trapping them in meaningless drudgery.
And, wow, if our kids were told their
acceptance in our love was dependent on their ability to perfectly follow all
the rules we’d hung up there, it would change how they saw us, and themselves,
and their life in our home and connection with each other. The list would become a crushing weight,
and they would become slaves to their own ongoing attempts to earn our
love. Or they would throw in the
towel and live wild, feral lives.
So how would we
live if we believed God loves us? How would we live if the list we were given
was an invitation to remember who we are and how freedom looks when it’s lived
out with each other fully and joyfully?
This life is
holy. This life is a gift.
These people around you? They are amazing.
Each one
different, each one knowing something you don’t, bringing something into the
world that you can’t. You need these people. And they need you.
When you let yourself live by the Spirit that calls you to your true
self, in true relationship with God in the bond opened up by Christ, you will
find a different kind of living pouring forth.
From time to time
You will find Love.
Your heart will
well up and overflow onto others, the desire to reach out and know them, to be
known, will guide you. Instead of
drawing back and buttoning down the hatches of your soul, you will find
yourself extending toward others.
And honey, there
will be joy! Delight in life, and gratitude and awe at the sleeping child whose
lashes rest on her warm cheek, and the bursting of the sweet ripe berry in your
mouth, and the shock of deep color in the single petal of the spectacular
flower in your quiet garden, and body shaking laughter, deep and hard.
And you may taste
Peace, sensing now and then beyond the fear and the chaos, underneath the manic
frenzy, that deep cool place where you and your God dwell in simple silence. That brief pause, when everything else
doesn’t matter because you know you are going to be ok. And between us as well, despite
conflict and tension, underneath it all, it’s going to be ok.
Patience will grace
you, and occasionally you’ll find yourself seeing through the furious temper
tantrum and the maddening whining to the tired little soul splayed out at your
feet, or past the traffic jam to the precious stranger in the car beside you,
somewhere important to be, a life of her own she is living, or under the
volatile conflict into the longing to be heard and to hear, to be seen and to
see, that is pulsing within each of you.
You can live
Kindness, not niceness presumed by affection, or politeness earned by
status. Simply My humanity sees your humanity and I choose
to meet you. I can help with that, let me get the door, I brought you this,
I thought of you, how have you been, my friend?
And risk Generosity
–you don’t need to horde and hide, to scavenge and scrimp. You are valuable to me, your needs are
my needs. We can share what we have and care for one another.
Faithfulness is
now a possibility, I will keep my commitments, you will keep yours. We can be
taken at our word; we can be consistent and trustworthy.
And Gentleness
opens up between us, life is hard and we can tread lightly in each other’s
fragile places and handle one another with tenderness.
And you can breathe the clean, fresh
air of Self-control, that you can choose to participate in a way that upholds
your being and respects the being of others, and this can characterize our life
together.
This is the freedom for which Christ has freed us.
And since we live
by the Spirit, and this is what that looks like, let’s not keep this picture of
freedom as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, Paul implores, let’s
work it out in the details of our unique and varied lives, as we are bound
together in Christ.
Let’s practice
it, and check in with ourselves throughout the day, and let it be our compass,
to guide us in this glorious, holy, gift of a life.
Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment