Posts

Showing posts from September, 2009

Not Getting the God We Want

Image
Grunwald's Crucifixion


Reflections 
Mark 8:27-38 
from our "Gathering of Reflection & Renewal" 
Saturday, September 12, 2009

He just sat there
drawing in the dirt.

Everybody watched,
and I waited
for him to do the right thing.

Supposedly he was righteous,
holy, good.
But I had heard the rumors,
that couldn’t possibly be true 
Lepers? Beggars? Whores?  Criminals?
They said he allowed his followers
to flaunt the Law,
and offend God with their disrespect.
Terrible rumors.

So here was his chance to show them.
To set them straight.
to do the right thing.

She stood there,
Despicable.  Barely clothed.
Filthy.
Tearstreaked, and shivering.
And he just sat there drawing in the dirt.

The question hung in the air,
 the tension palpable.
Waiting.
For him to do the right thing.

And then he finally stopped drawing.
He stood,
and brushed the dirt off his hands,
and looking at US,
instead of at HER,
he said, 

awe and wonder

Image
These are poignant days.
He is moving away from me, his own tiny self out into the world. Pride and grief, worry and thrill all churning inside as I look down at his peaceful face, pressed into the pillow, limbs curled in and hair smashed up on end.
His life is less and less about me, as my own is hardly about my parents at all.  These are his days, his struggles and triumphs, his thoughts and experiences, his memories and meaning.
This is now his story.
It is no longer the story of me and my baby, me as a mom. Sure, that's still part of my own story, but now there is another story out there, a new story, a different story than has ever been.  And I get to be an accessory in this new story, a supporting cast member.  I get to watch it unfold and marvel as he becomes.
Who ever knew this would be so hard and so wonderful?

He Was Brave Today.
Afraid and excited and brave in the way brave is really brave - feeling scared and doing it anyway. He was strong and honest and real.  My boy…